Sunday, December 26, 2004
-Cherish your life.-
It's sunday early in the afternoon, i was as usual flipping through my chinese reference books after helping my mum with the clothes.. yeah its a lot, one week of clothes and we only have time to fold then, iron them on sunday. After a while I went on net, checking blog and stuffy.. I clicked on the Next blog button on top of a friend's blog and saw something.. quite unbelievable.
I saw a girl who had an aim, she wanted to be a pretty girl and has been working hard for her goal. But recently she has been diagnosed with cancer... I couldnt explain the feeling when I saw the blog... I just felt that life is so unpredictable.. yes, if you are thinking.. those little things I've seen on the web affects me a lot, especially someones journal.
As I recall I havent been a healthy person all of my life, born with asthma from young. Though its not always life threatening. But I remember a few times when i was in my primary school and asthmas was so bad that I was afraid to sleep, afraid that I might not wake up after I slept.
I've seems to forget the way I cherished my life when I was young, I've gone through failures after failures in my upper secondary school life and I wanted to commit suicide. I felt that life was so meaningless that I dont want to live to think of my problems anymore, I thought I couldnt take it... I had to die. But of course, I survived! Thanks to that somebody who hurt me, the worst is over... I've overcome everything and will overcome anything now.
I'm actually very afraid of death now. Why? Because there are just so many things left undone for me, I have to earn a lot of money for my parents, I have to take care of my kiddy sis and bro. I yet to complete my stories. I just can't bear to think that one day, I have to leave them...
But again... if something is meant to be, it's meant to be. I believe that fate is in my own hand.. but that is if you don't count in those accidents or sudden fatal illness. These things are unpredictable, something that you wouldn't wish for and wouldn't know when it's gonna happen to you.
So... I'm gonna live my everyday to the fullest, putting a hundred percent in everything I do. If something really bad happens to me, I wouldn't regret the days I've live through from this moment.
I believe that only when you learn to cherish your life, then you have the right to love others. You have to love yourself before loving others.
go ahead and
dream~
|12/26/2004 01:47:00 PM|
