Saturday, September 16, 2006
-Still standing strong-
Hi my friends! Just a post to let you guys know I'm still standing strong.
It's been the worst July of my 20 years of life, but August is picking up and September is looking good at the moment.
I miss Jasmine, but I believe she is in a better place.
A place without sickness, sadness and sorrow.
To start to appreciate life, one has to understand the ending of lifes. I'm looking forward to the day when I could see her in that wonderful paradise again.
Meanwhile, I'll be struggling down here with all the school works and everyday life problem.
Life's as dreadful as always but promise me you will live up also pal!
go ahead and
dream~
|9/16/2006 02:50:00 PM|
Sunday, July 02, 2006
-My beloved Jasmine-
Her name is Jasmine, she is a pomeranian. Apricot in color, I usually call her Minmin, hoping that she can recognize her name easier with a double same pronunciation word.
She came to our home in 1998; she was so small, so lovely, so soft, so fluffy we thought she was a kitten. But thinking that she might bite, none of us three really dare to go near her.
Dad put her in a cage and we only dare to watch her from afar.
I don't have a brilliant memory, that's why I hope to write down something about her. So even in the future, I wouldn't forget her completely.
I remember it was just the 7th day she came to our home, she was suddenly very ill. We sent her to a small clinic, yet the vet said that she might not be able to treat her and referred her to the hospital immediately. It was a heartbreaking moment for me, I know her for just 7 days and I couldn't bear to see her suffer. When my dad drove us to the hospital, she seems to be so tired… Her eyelid seems so heavy; it was my dad who told me that I had to keep her eyes open, so that she doesn't sleep, doesn't go. I did, and we are all so glad that the hospital saved her.
But after spending 8 years with me, she had finally left me. My mum told me Jasmine's yuan fen, predestined relationship with me has ended... I couldn't accept her death, I couldn't... even now when I'm writing this I find it hard to realize that she isn't with me anymore. She wouldn't be there when I reach home from work or school, wouldn't greet me when I enter the door, wouldn't wag her tails for love and affection, wouldn't bark and growl and she's not happy... wouldn't beg me for her favorite snack.
She is so precious to me, so precious I couldn't explain, so precious I couldn't write with my talent. How could anybody understand when I walk into the room and saw her body, it was lifeless, cold yet still her... her fur was still soft, yet so cold. I called out for her, yet she wouldn't respond, cannot respond.
I cried, grasp for breath, desperately trying to believe that she would recover, desperately clasping to that faint of hope that the people around me had given me for the past one week.
I had a bad feeling from the beginning, but I tried so hard to convince myself that she would be fine. Yet she was still taken away...
I once mentioned that I am a free thinker, for her I told my Christian friends to pray for her, told my sister to sing the scriptures to heal her sickness, I started to eat as a vegetarian to accumulate blessing for her... yet she was still taken away.
My mother and brother told me she had left for a better place and maybe reincarnated into a human. Perhaps 10 years from now, I might stumble across a 10 years old beautiful young girl with the name Jasmine.
Yes, did I mention how beautiful she looked? Every time I brought her outside, people would come near, would whisper nice things about her.
"How cute!"
"What breed of dog is that? She looks beautiful"
She was eight years old and still look like a beautiful, innocent puppy...
How can I ever recover from the wound in my heart?
She survived a majored surgery 5 months ago, and every now and then I've been praising her. Praising and proud of how strong she was.
She was never underweight, yet a super picky eater so she was never overweight either...
We used to buy her so many expensive Japanese brand snacks, ranging from bread to cheese stick yet she would just give a sniff and walk away.
Until we came across a not so expensive made in Thailand meat stick, she gave it a tried and love it so much.
She was a proud dog, never happy when she sees another dog, never happy when another dog tries to approach her. She can be moody at times, a typical Gemini. She can wag her tails at you one moment and try to bite when you've done something to irritate her.
I missed her, I really do... I would do anything to bring her back... even though I know it can never be possible.
She growl and tried to threaten you when you've done something irritating, but as time pass you will realize that she will never bite you. Her teeth were so small it wouldn't hurt.
I missed her terribly, and cannot forget when we brought her to the hospital how badly she hopes to come home. I wanted her to come home also... so badly I cried everyday and everywhere... in front of everyone. I was never seen as a weak person, but I have no choice but to show my weakest side.
I prayed, prayed to whatever god up there watching. Hoping that he can help me, help my Jasmine, but nobody did...
The cruelty of life, I never knew that life can be so cruel...
Every other day I would visit her in the hospital, telling her to be strong, telling her that I would bring her home. Why doesn't she trust me? Why doesn't she believe me? I really want to be with her, I really want to bring her home. I would do anything, everything to save her. I did, I did all I could.
Until the day the nurse told me she could pass away any moment, my heart shattered... I felt so helpless, so hopeless... so afraid that she would really die...
And she did pass away, on the 1st of July, 10.15pm.
Maybe it was a relief for her? So that she wouldn't fall sick again, wouldn't be tortured by sickness and illness?
Have she gone to heaven? The paradise where there is no sickness? Or gone for reincarnation... I don't know…
But I really hope to let her know.
Jasmine...
I love you... I really do. No matter where you are, where you go.
May you be blessed by all the good deeds I have done for you.
I really hope you had enjoyed the times with me, with your family.
I know that I can be nasty at times, but forgive me my dear, I do not mean it.
I want to let you know you are missed, missed by your family. I miss you so terribly, cried so hard I thought I would die from the heartache.
Please, please go to a better place...
And promise me you will meet me again someday in the future.
I want to let you know, I didn't give up on you. I did everything I could, but it just wasn't enough. Mum said that our predestined relationship has ended and there is nothing I can do.
Sorry if you visited and saw me being a crybaby, you knew I was never strong... and can never be strong without you...
and I really love you.
Good bye my dear...
go ahead and
dream~
|7/02/2006 03:33:00 PM|
Saturday, April 15, 2006
-Treasure the times-
I just saw a sentence from xy's blog, it says she learnt to treasure the time spent with her family & friends from the long hours of SIP working.
And that was certainly one of the stuff I've learnt also. I just couldn't stop thinking of my family and friends when i was working. I was just so so happy to learn that there was this good friday that I could skip work one day to spent with my family.
Guess I'm just not meant to be working in office. I never like office job, seriously. And I am really not those kind of people who could stick to 24hours/7days/4weeks/12months doing just the exact same thing. *sigh*
I want to be in control of my life and enjoy my job, not spend it in waste doing a job purely for the salary.
SIP is so tiring I didn't even enjoy playing games and writing when I got home after work. All the times I could have for my story if I'm studying... Oh, I'm just so in love with SP. Huihui let us go to SP together! Their SIP is only one and the half months. Its not too late to quit now! lol...
go ahead and
dream~
|4/15/2006 08:57:00 PM|
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
-I DON"T WANT TO WORK-
yes SIP started... I won't say it sucks. Workload is ok, environment is nice, colleagues are ok. Where am I working at? I won't say its name, but it's a big big business news tv broadcasting company. If you know me, you'll know which I'm talking about. Everything is fine, but I just don't like working....
Trust me kids, you will not like to work. Cherish the school times! >_<
Getting into a big tv broadcasting company is like a dream comes true thing, but my workload unlike what I originally thought to be a bit tv related, were very "business". Of course.. 'cause I've been posted to a business department. It's only the 3rd day and I'm so glad that there's a good friday for us this week!!! I just can't stand all the emailings and databasing!
HOW DO I LAST TILL THE END OF THE SIP? Which is 4 months! 16 weeks! 16x5 days week= 80 days!
80 days - 3 days = 77 days left!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG
Forgive me for the shouting, I'm certainly going crazy. But Luckily, I still have two of my greatest buddies available to lunch with me.
Yvonne! Ah bao! I wanna sing you guys a song!
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I
How do I
Oh, how do I live.........
Yeah.. I'm going mad.
go ahead and
dream~
|4/12/2006 08:51:00 PM|
Sunday, March 26, 2006
-Team Singapore! Li Jia Wei!-
I've been so into the Melbourne Commonwealth Games lately.
Well done Team Singapore! Winning is important but I believe it's the effort they put in that counts.
As usual, I've pay more attention to the Table Tennis matches, catching nearly every live telecast at the 7am time slot and 1.30pm slot.
I really like the female table tennis team well! Go go! Sharon Tan, Xu Yan, Zhang Xue Ling and Li Jia Wei!
They have excellent performance as a Team, as doubles and individual! Check out the results in the Team Singapore web =p
But no doubt my favorite is still Li Jia Wei, I've been supporting her since the 2004 Athens! I was so angry when Miss Noisy (Kim Kyung Ah) defeat Li Jia Wei by giving the warcry noise all the time...
But I'm quite sad this time when Li Jia Wei lost the gold medal to a fellow teammate Zhang Xue Ling, but I guess it's because they just know each other too well. The tactics on the table and so on. It's a close match with Li Jia Wei getting 3 and Zhang Xue Ling getting 4 out of the 7 games.
Well, all the best Li jia wei and the other female table tennis players, I hope to see all of them in the Beijing 2008! With the excellent performance Zhang Xue Ling and the young Xu Yan this time round in Melbourne I do see better results in the 2008 olympic!
I just can't wait till Beijing 2008, I think I'll be flying over to Beijing to support the Singapore team! Since my dad is living and working in Beijing now, if he still works in Beijing in 2008. I'll definitely fly over!
go ahead and
dream~
|3/26/2006 11:36:00 AM|
Thursday, March 23, 2006
-xian jian finally on tv-
It has been awhile since I last watched xian jian. Seeing it on tv again brings back fond memories of the times where I stayed up all night to finish a certain episodes with my brother and sister.
In short the story is still enthralling! But reviewing it again makes me see things I couldn't see when I was so blinded by the love of the characters back then.
No doubt xian jian is a successful drama adapted from the game story, but I would strongly encourage xian jian lovers to go try on its pc game. As no matter how the scriptwriter trys to stay original, nothing can be compared to the real game story. It's true, I've played the game roughly 8 to 9 years ago..(I'm old . .) And I could still remember the story that well.
No extra advertising for the softstar company, only play the original xian jian! It's has a first version on dos and a second version on window. Get the second version with better graphics named the Xin Xian Jian Qi Xia Zhuan. The xian jian 2, a sequel to xian jian original was a big big failure, totally wasted my 39sgd! I haven't tried xian jian 3 but to my knowlegde the game story is of many decades before xian jian itself, I personally don't see any linkage between 3 and the original. Please enlighten me if you know about it. I haven't research myself due to the dissapointment 2 had given me.
So people, go grab a copy of the xin xian jian qi xia zhuan at any pc stores.
I saw many boxes in challenger tampines!
go ahead and
dream~
|3/23/2006 01:33:00 PM|
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
-BBq time-
Have lots of fun for the bbq last night, its a shame I can't stay till a later time =p
Anyway, i gotta go back to my brainstorming for more story ideas. Here's a short short aimless video clip which almost includes everybody of the last night's bbq. Enjoy!
Video clip taken with my n70!
lol i know the video is small, go to this address for a bigger version!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=NWiYtKp47Q4
go ahead and
dream~
|3/22/2006 02:36:00 PM|
